About a week or so ago I casually dropped by the website of a presidential candidate -I forget which one- and then looked around a bit and eventually clicked on a link to the “store” where they sell what basically are election souvenirs.  I was astounded at some of the crap that they were trying to get people to buy.  I decided to highlight some of the craziest things I saw and share them with you, my loyal blog readers.

NOTE: These sites will eventually be closed down as candidates drop out or after the election, so the links to all the webpages might not work after November, but I’m posting the pictures of this zany stuff so that it’ll live on in cyberspace, on my blog, for much longer.

Oh, and never fear, they all have a wide selection of stickers, mugs, hats, t-shirts and “regular” souvenirs available.

DEMOCRATS

Hillary Clinton – The button selection here is pretty good.  You’ve got the “I’m Your Girl” button, the “Asian American Pacific Islanders for Hillary” button, the “Out for Hillary” button (this one’s for the gay community, not Republican opponents), and what is likely my favorite,  the “Jews for Hillary” button…mostly cause it’s written in Hebrew.  The buttons are $3 each.

You can also purchase an ice scraper for$6.00 (is that because she’s an ice queen?), a ruler for $3.50 or a child’s piggy bank for $7.50.  That’s an item that you are supposed to use to save money, yet you must spend$7.50 to acquire it.  Plus, it’s sooo cute, it says “Hillary Cares About Me.”  Yeah, right.

Barack Obama- Something I haven’t seen in other online stores are the t-shirts designed for each state that votes on Super Tuesday, so that’s kinda different.  Obama also has buttons for the gay community and Jews (also in Hebrew by the way) but adds another voter type that we don’t usually see supporting a democratic candidate, Republicans for Obama.  Those buttons are $3 a piece, or 2 for $5.

 

He also has 2 DVDs for sale, that’s unique to his campaign.  But I gotta give Barack’s camp a gold star for coming up with a totally goofy, strange and utterly worthless campaign item…Christmas tree ornaments.  A set of 4 different ornaments will run you $15.  Making them even more impressive is the slogan on a couple of them, “’tis the season for change.”  Ah, such happy holiday memories were made by the families that had these on their tree.

John Edwards – missed out on this one, can’t recall if I looked in his store prior to the end of his campaign last week.  Hope I didn’t miss out on something good.

REPUBLICANS

John McCain- I don’t like his store.  First of all, instead of choosing what item you might want to purchase, you instead have to decide how much money you want to donate.  A baseball hat from another campaign might go for 20 bucks but here it holds the top level distinction of being the gift for the most expensive donationof $75.  Sheesh.  Wear that thing to a campaign stop and he better see it and take a picture with ya.  Thumbs down for the McCain store.  I kinda like the guy but his name and logo remind me of french fries.  They even both use a star as the dot on the “i”!

Rudy Giuliani- Unlike John Edwards, altho Rudy has dropped out of the race, he still has plenty of stuff to try to get rid of so the store’s still open for business.  Here’s a shining example of GOP crap.  A Rudy Giuliani Louisville Slugger baseball bat that can be yours for only $79.95.

 

A set of Rudy cuff links in sterling silver will set you back $125 but fear not, you can get a gold plated or silver plated set for just $18.95.  Also from the expensive tastes menu comes a wooden pen for $79.95.  For the more economical Republican how ’bout a rhinestone Rudy pin for $12.95 or a Rudy car emblem for just $9.95.  Boy, wouldn’t that look great on an expensive foreign car.

 

Mitt Romney – Well let’s see, there’s some decent stuff here too.  You’ve got cuff links offered in the store, like Rudy does, but they have just one style tho and sell for $45…but they are painted in 2 colors.  Oh, how about a key chain, but not just any key chain, one made from metal…it shows you’re worth more if it’s in metal, plus it has his replica autograph on the back.  This one’s just $10.95.  And offered by the man who has the most money -personally that is- a money clip of course!  Just $20.

 

But this GOP site gets some props for putting out a quirky item, albeit not necessarily…well…necessary.  A foam Mitt Romney baseball mitt.  Get it? a Mitt mitt?

Mike Huckabee – Here’s a definite break from the rest of the presidential pack.  His store is run through cafepress.com.  For those who don’t know, anyone can upload an image to cafepress.com and have it placed on a variety of items, paying for just one or a small run at a time.  So perhaps his campaign is selling stuff in this manner so that they don’t have tons of extra junk laying around, unsellable, when he ends up dropping out of the race.  Hmm, making only as much as you need, spending only as much money as you need…maybe he would make a good president.  At this store I liked the “Chuck for Huck” items.  This design is available on all kids of stuff but here’s the $17.99 yard sign.  But why is Mike’s mouth open, it looks as if he’s just gotten kicked in the back by an angry Chuck Norris.

Ron Paul – Kinda boring stuff here, nothing too exciting.  But since I feel I should at least get one item from each store I’m gonna have to go with the Super Tuesday special.  A set of 8 collectible “I Support Ron Paul” buttons, each with a different background color.  Oooh!

I kinda got excited when I saw a tab marked “Slim Jims“ in the Ron Paul store until I found out they were pamphlets instead of a limited edition Libertarian meat snack.

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UPDATE 2/5/2008 

So I did some digging around after I posted the above entry.

As it turns out, there are some candidates websites (besides Rudy’s) that are still active and selling election tchotkes even though the candidate has dropped out of the election.

DEMOCRATS

Dennis Kucinich – Upon first look I saw nothing too goofy on Dennis’ store, just this cute little doggie bandana for $8.80 which, for the same price, is available in a human model…albeit the dog gets his made from microfiber and the human, cotton.  And yes, you’re right, it does say “Dogs for Kucinich.”

 

But then I clicked back to the store home page and saw this…a Palm Beach County Voting Machine!  Yup, can ya believe it?  At $219.95 each they actually have a box asking you for the quantity you wish to purchase!  Oh, but all the items are now 50% off, so get a doggie scarf and a voting machine.  Here’s the description:

Own a Little Piece of History
	Palm Beach County Voting Machine… used in Election 2000 containing actual chads, a replica butterfly ballot, plus a bonus letter “The Stolen Presidential Election of 2000″ personally signed by Dennis Kucinich.

Mike Gravel – This guy has boring stuff too, and it’s set up on a donation level, like John McCain’s store…which doesn’t matter since he’s out of the running.

Bill Richardson  – no store.

Joe Biden – if there was a store, there is no more.

Christopher Dodd – nope.

REPUBLICANS

Fred Thompson - Fred has a few cute products available.  These designs are available on stickers as well as clothing, I’m simply highlighting the buttons here.  Don’t Blame Me, I Voted For Fred, I’m Still With Fred, Fred’s Big Red Truck and Official FredHead.  He also was the only candidate I’ve seen selling the ever popular silicone bracelets.  The buttons are $1.75 and the bracelets are $1.00 each.

Duncan Hunter  – nothing to see here.

Tom Tancredo – here either.

NOW I think I’ve found all the available candidate items for sale….but the extra digging was worth it to find the Kucinich voting machine.